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 for silly violence, sexual jokes, language and general immaturity.
Warriors Ten: A x-mas Carol
by i "have a merry f---in x-mas" carus
COMING ATTRACTIONS
A large dark screen appears. Slowly crawling onto the screen are gold letters that read "Coming Soon." An announcer comes on.
Announcer: Coming soon, to a chat-fic near you.
The screen fades away to reveal a big ass crater. there's a huge meteor in the sky and a buncha people all standing around dressed up in odd cloths. Grey's in a red and black outfit with a red cape and for some reason has a metal arm.
Grey: -_-; I hate you...
Well you had to get into something else sooner or later. Grey just kinda looks around, really not knowing what to say or do. Running onto the screen at top speed comes a green chocobo, followed by Misuka in a sleeveless jacket, flight goggles and smoking a cig.
Misuka: DAMN YOUUUU!!
Chocobo: WARK!
Grey sweatdrops, and the scene fades away to silvery blue lettering. The announcer comes back.
Announcer: Warriors Ten- FF7. Just when you thought it was safe to play a squaresoft game without laughing.
Misuka chases the chocobo past the lettering, which falls over with a thud. The screen goes black again.
NOW FOR OUR MAIN FEATURE PICTURE
Darkfool: Oi think you spelled that wrong...
SHADDAP! *ahem* Once again theres' that big empty screen, devoid of a castle. c'mon...c'mon...
Castle: I don't want to..every time..i...i...
The castle is sobbing backstage. It refuses to come on. Oh c'mon i promise, this time'll be different!
Castle: You lie..There's no way i'm going out there!
-_-; uh...i uh...promise. hey, it's x-mas! Get with the spirit, good will towards castles!
Castle: R...really?
The castle lifts up its turret and strides on scene, smiling. i dont know how a castle can smile. shut up.
Castle: DADAAA!!
Misuka: OUJOSAMA TO OYOBI!!!
Misuka flies in and starts whipping the castle with a length of chain. The castle falls over sobbing, in tears, as snow begins to drift down as the Ranec continues to mercilessly whip the castle.
Misuka: OHOHOHOOHOOOOOO!!!
RIGHTO! Happii x-mas all! Up comes the title screen which reads....
WARRIORS TEN- A X-MAS CAROL
Cast
Darkfool: The ghost of x-mas present
Misuka: Scrooge
Grey: The ghost of x-mas future
Solla: The ghost of x-mas past
Soshika: Jacob Marley
The screen and all fade away to a large, empty, snow-filled street as Misuka is walking along muttering to herself.
Misuka: humbug..f--- x-mas...grrr...
A downtrodden and sickly looking winged cat approuches her and holds out his hand pleedingly...
Jester: Please miss, spare money...it's x-mas, I'm starving...
Misuka: Fuck you, you lousy bum. if you can't survive, you're weak. Outta my way.
Misuka pushes Jester down into a snowbank and marches on her way. Little does she hear jester's cries...
Jester: Now I'll NEVER be able to pay for FF9!!
WRONG CRY!
Jester: huh? Oh right. CURSE YOU EBINEZER MISUKA!! YOU WILL REGRET YOUR WAYS!
Misuka: Yeah, whatever.
Misuka, you're too good at this.
Misuka: I. am. not. scrooge.
Yeah you are. deal with it. The author is somewhat distracted playing with her x-mas gifts....ooh Boojum...DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!! AHAHAH!! FACE THE WRATH OF MY PLAYING CARDS!! OOHOHOHO!!!
Misuka: AUTHOR!
whut? AGH! I DIED! DAMN CARD GUARDS! Thanks a lot, Misuka...
Misuka: You're...supposed..to be writing...a fic...
Misuka has little jets of steam coming out of her ears. The author saves her game and returns to writing. Anyway, misuka stomps home through the snow-covered streets, giving the finger to those jolly passerbys...
Darkfool: Oi believe you made a mistake, Author...She goes tew work, first.
ohhhh riiiiight. Okay, Misuka suddenly makes a u-turn on the snow covered road and marches towards her work.
Misuka: Stop treating me like a f---ing puppet!
But you are one..the author makes misuka do Riverdance in the snow covered streets. everyone stops and stairs. dedooblydoobilydoobily doobily...^_^
Misuka: RAAAAARRRRR!!!
hehe. i love the power of being author. Anyway, Misuka is magicly transported to her work, where she takes note of the sign...
Misuka: What sign? I don't see a sign.
Whoops, forgot to write it in. Okay, a sign hangs from the awning of the little building, covered in snow. It reads "Misuka Sakura and Soshika Lypha: Professional Assassins." Misuka looks at it thoughtfully and taps the ice off.
Misuka: Ah, too bad that Soshi is dead. But good ridance. Damn cat.
Misuka rubs her shoulder as if remembering constant and irrational pain. tehehe. She steps inside the office and sees...
Misuka: I dont see anyone. This is the worst chat-fic I've been in...Isnt' ANYTHING thought out?
Well...um..uh..no. not really. Okay, I know who she sees! She sees..Rabindranath! HA! i told you id think of soemthing. Rabin's dressed in raggidy cloths and is busily attempting to breath fire on a can of soup.
Misuka: The f--- are you doing?
Rabin: UH...please...sir...
Misuka: SIR??? RAAAAAAAARRR!!!
Misuka throws things at Rabin, who gets hit in the head with a coal skuttle. He falls backwards out of his little chair and Misuka stomps around rarring. Rabin sits up groggily.
Rabin: Uh..But..I wanted ta ask, my friend's sick...could i have x-mas morning off ta take care of him?
Misuka: FUCK NO! If he is sick, he will die if he is not strong!
Misuka starts ranting in bad, confusing, english. Rabin hangs his head in shame.
Rabin: I understand..I'll be here tomorrow then..
Misuka: Damn straight you will. Now get the hell outta my sight.
Rabin: Man..You really are Scrooge.
Misuka: I AM NOT SCROOGE!!!
Misuka goes on another of her denying rants while rabin sneaks out behind her back. In the midst of all this, Misuka finally finishes her rant and goes about tidying up the little buisness-
Misuka: LITTLE???
Okay, fine, the huge corperate center that is her assassins for hire building complex.
Misuka: That's more like it.
Yeesh...-_-; some x-mas spirit. Anyway she's just about done when she hears a completely offkey catarwauling outside.
Misuka: THE FUCK IS THAT RACKET???
Not knowing the f--- that racket is, misuka goes running down all thirty nine flights of steps, where she finally reaches the doorway, completely out of breath, and now has to disarm the security systems. HA! That wish for a huge corperate center backfired on you! MUAHHAHA!!!
Misuka: -_-++++
Misuka finally disarms all nintey eight security systems and opens the door only to be knocked over by a wave of really bad singing.
Jet: Deck the halls with marijuana!
Kyotoshi: FALALLALALALALALA!!!
Jet: Put it out but I don't wanna!
Kyotoshi: FALALALALALALAAA!!!
Misuka: SHADDAP!!!
Misuka goes into a flailing kicking hitting fit and proceeds to send snow flying all around in a sort of snow mushroom cloud. When she's finished, Jet and Kyo are covered from head to toe in snow, but still grinning.
Jet: Trippy. ^_^
Kyotoshi: Uh, hey there ebinezer Misuka.
Misuka: Fuck you.
Misuka slams the door in their faces before they even get a chance to explain that they're from a charity collecting for the Yaoiful Hekshanians fund. Suddenly, a paladin appears.
Paladin: Oh now come on!!
The paladin gets distracted as the author holds up a picture of Chocolate Misu. That nixes one problem. Anyway, Misuka returns to her miserly ways, locking up her office building. Little does she know the room is growing cold...because she never takes that damn jacket off!
Misuka: FUCK YOU! I like my coat.
yeah a little too much...anyway, the tempurature in the room drops...the clock starts spinning around...the x-mas tree grows really tall and...oh wait. wrong x-mas story. The clock's still spinning though because I like that image. Misuka turns around to curse again when suddenly, sitting on top of the clock is none other than the ghostly apparation of-
Soshika: ^_^ Myurr.
Misuka: The hell? -_-;
Soshika: Myuu ^_^
-_-; Soshika..you're supposed to be threatening and stuff. BAH!! Anyway, soshi's there in ghostly white and blue, wearing...um..what appears to be..uh...
Soshika: A turtle fur blanket ^_^ sooooft...
Misuka: Some ghost.
Soshika: Hey, I'm doing my best. Gimme a break.
Misuka: You suck as a ghost.
Soshika: Well, I have to tell you something...
Misuka: I have to tell you something too.
Soshika hops off the clock, lotsa chains rattling. hangin from the chains are katanas, daggers, empty cheeze-wiz bottles, blocks of ice, mechanical spiders, mortal kombat games...other odd stuff like that.
Soshika: Uhm...Okay. We have a bit of time. What is it?
Misuka: well...
Misuka drops her voice to a whisper, and pulls her coat up over her nose, looking quite afraid. Leaning in real close, she tugs it down and-
Misuka: I see dead people!
Soshika: -_-; If i wasnt dead, i'd kick your ass.
Misuka: Biee ^-^
Soshika: Well, back to buisness!
Soshika raises a ghostly finger and points it at the miserly ranec, attempting to look threatening..well as threatening as you can clothed in a soft blanket. Misuka doesnt seem to be so intimidated.
Soshika: Ebinezer misuuuu-kaaa! Repent your irrationally violent ways!
Misuka: No.
Soshika: Oh please?
Misuka: No.
Soshika: It's aweful lovely to be at peace-
Misuka: Hell no.
Soshika: But it's such a nice thing-
Misuka: Did I say no?
Soshika: You get a free mug when you die, from what i hear-
WILL YOU STOP ATTEMPTING TO SOUND LIKE A MONTY PYTHON SKETCH!! -_-+++ The author decides to take a quick break to clear her head and get control again. Eleveator music begins to play.
Soshika: ...
Misuka: ...
Soshika: Aweful dull without narraration, isnt it?
Misuka: I'll say. So how're things with you?
Soshika: Oh you know. float around, haunt a few people, hide under a kid's bed..the usual dead stuff.
Misuka: Eh. Sounds like it sucks, man.
Soshika: Yeah..sometimes. But then again, i dont have to worry about anything like taxes or other people.
Misuka: Good point. So...ya seen it?
Soshika: Seen what?
Misuka: Afterlife. If you're a ghost, there's apparently one.
Soshika: Ah. yeah. it aint so different from life.
Misuka: So...i'd expect you'd be in hell?
Soshika: Hell's other people, man.
Misuka: Amen ta that, sistah.
Back. I trust there wasn't any infighting while i was gone? Wait..what the...WHO WAS PLAYING MY SAVED GAME?
Misuka: ...um...
Soshika: Uhh....
Both: She did it.
-_-; That's it. From now on, when I leave, I'm putting the Paladin in control.
Paladin: WHAT? That's just cruel!
Shut up or i'll use my author powers to put you in a light pink bra. Anyway, back to the story. The author ignores the paladin's whimpering as Soshi continues to speak with Misuka.
Soshika: Misuka, you must turn back and repay those you've hurt before it's too late!
Misuka: Fuck that. Why?
Soshika: Uh..well..cause it's a nice thing to do...
THe author discreetely coughs "Ghosts."
Soshika: Oh yeah! And if you don't, you'll be visited by three ghosts!!
Soshika holds up four fingers. She's that bad with numbers, folks.
Misuka: Ghosts don't scare me.
Soshika: These ghosts will, I bet.
Misuka: Yeah right. You probobly just shoved Darkfool, Solla and Grey into some white robes and're gonna march em into my bedroom.
Soshika: uh...
Soshika flips a few pages ahead in the script while the author quickly instructs Darkfool, Solla and Grey that there's gonna be a costume change.
Soshika: NO! HA! But you'll really be scared...and if you don't..not only that but-
Misuka: I'll wind up like you when I die?
Soshika: No..worse...you'll work as a lawyer for Microsoft, defending bill gates!
Misuka: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NEVER!!!
Soshika: That's right! SO REPENT YER MEANNESS!
Misuka: They will never turn me to the Microsoft side! You can't make me regret anything!
Soshika: ...you're not scared of MICROSOFT taking over your brain?
Misuka: It'll never work.
jeez yer a real bitch, misuka. anyway, the ranec waves her hand in a parody of a ladylike gesture at the hekshanian ghost and yawns tiredly.
Misuka: Get on with it, mortal.
Soshika: Undead.
Misuka: Whatever.
Soshika: ...okay. well, remember my woooords!
Soshika attempts to fade away but really just kinda climbs into the clock case behind some flashpowder. Not bothring to even look in the clock case wehre she KNOWS soshi's hiding, misuka packs up and heads home.
Misuka: Bah f---in humbug.
When she reaches her snow-covered...uh..japanese style house, she slips into her house shoes and a kimono and goes skittering around before finally settling down for her customary three hours sleep.
Misuka: G'night, ya f---ed up world.
Misuka blows out the candles at her bedside and rolls around to sleep in the swastika position, which is a sleeping position people. She hasn't been like this ten minutes before...a ghostly wail fills the chamber.
Wail: OOOooooaoooOOOOOOAOOOooooo....
Misuka: The f---...?
Misuka rolls over and sits up in bed only to come face to face with a very pale looking Animarian. In fact, she can't be alive. Misuka screams and throws a pillow at the ghost, ranting and raving about privacy and a good nights sleep.
Solla: For Micha's sake, Ranec, you are such a drama queen.
Misuka: GET THE HELL OUTTA MY ROOM!!
Solla: For once, Ranec, you cannot make me leave. I am here to teach you a long deserved lesson.
Misuka: The hell you are.
Althought the ranec would love to deny Solla's ability to do that now, she can't. Solla smirks and spreads her wings out dramaticly.
Solla: There, you see? It is my author given right. I am the Ghost of X-mas Past.
Misuka: Why the hell're you here?
Solla: I am to show you the error of your ...unjust...ways. I am the first of three ghosts who shall visit you tonight. Now follow me.
Solla runs to the window and opens it, where there's a swirling green portal instead of a city landscape. Misuka starts ranting again, but Solla reaches out and grabs her by her wing, leaps and takes flight into the greenness.
Misuka: LEMME GO LEMME GO YOU FUCKIN GECKO RARRR!! THE HELL ARE YOU TAKING ME! GET OFF!
Solla: Calm yourself, winged rabbit.
Solla leads misuka through the swirly greenness, until they land in a wing-ed heap outside of a school house. But it aint a school house. It's Reiwou, the pagan base on Hekshano. Running around outside in the slushy snow are several young children, of various species. Stepping out of the school steps, a young looking ranec arrives with a bag of stuff and begins handing them out to the kiddies.
Misuka: The hell? That me?
Solla: Yes, before you became older and greedy when your Skill began to develop.
Misuka: Fuck you.
They watch as past-misuka hands out presents to the little kids, watching their smiling faces. The present-misuka starts ranting around.
Misuka: THE HELL? I'd take those presents, they're WEAK if they need to be GIVEN things!! NEVER GIVE STUFF AWAY!! RARRRRRR!!!
Solla: Hopeless fool...follow me.
Without so much as an adui, they leap into another green portal and land in a fortress that appears to be floating in midair with strange red tenticles running from the doors. in the middle's a house thats' rhymeicly rocking...
Misuka: Where the hell are we?
Running around the corner comes a black-haired girl in a blue dress, carrying a pack of cards. She skids to a stop before them.
Alice: Who the hell are you?
Solla: Oops, wrong portal.
Misuka: Who the hell are YOU?
Alice: You must be working for the red queen!!
Alice starts throwing cards at misuka, which snap into her with very painful force, atcually makin her bleed. they're razor tipped!! Fifty-two pickup is a staple of juvinille humor but when the deck slices and dices, it's no laughing matter...
Solla: AUTHOR! Stop playing "Alice" RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!
Aw man you guys are no fun at all..okay, another portal appears. Solla and misuka leap in and appear moments later in a hekshanian-run soup kitchen where a slightly older past-misuka is standing.
Misuka: Hey, I remember this. My finest hour.
Solla: Yes, and here you come...-_-;
past-misuka strides up to a hekshanian handing out gifts and snatches one away before running out. moments later she returns in a disguise, snatches another gift, and runs out again. This goes on for about twenty minutes before past-misuka takes a break for soup.
Solla: You singlehandedly bankrupted this soup kitchen between your greed and imense appitite.
Misuka: Ey, tis better to recieve than to give.
Solla: But watch...
Moments later, the young children from before, now slightly older, enter the soup kitchen and hold out their hands towards the man giving gifts, but none are left. Turning around, they begin to seek food..but it's all eaten. past-misuka ignores them completely, gets up and prepares to leave. But before doing so, she turns around, and shoots everyone in the kitchen.
Misuka: AW FUCK! I forgot about those kids!
Solla: No one ever found out who was responsable...And the parents of those children died in the Reiwou massacre.
Misuka: Oh man. Sucks.
Solla: Remember..you brought this upon yourself...
Solla's voice echoes wearily as Misuka stares at the carnage, most specificly the bodies of the little kids who had at one point been her friends, and who had never done anything to hurt her. how very grave for a chat-fic. Seconds later, she turns around to discover...
Misuka: The f---?
She's back in her own bed, in her own little japanese house. There's no green portal outside the window, just a blue one through which orcs and sabrecats and asps are entering...
Misuka: AAAAAAHHHH!!! DIABLO TWO!! ITS ATTACKING MEEEEEE!!!
Just as all the monsters are converging, diablo himself comes through the portal and-
Darkfool: OI MATIES!
A huge furry paw reaches down and scoops up diablo, throwing him over the horizon. THe other monsters, seeing their master has gone, retreat through the portal. Misuka looks up nervously to discover...a gigantic nikitak towering over her.
Darkfool: Oi there moi little mate. Oi'm the ghost of x-mas present.
Misuka: Come again?
Darkfool: Loik this.
Darkfool waves his arm, and presents shower on misuka. See? X-mas present.
Soshika: I feel lonely...
DAMNIT! go back in the clock!!
Soshika: I don't want to...
Soshika wanders ghostily into the room and curls up on the Ranec's bed, napping. NO! go back!
Soshika: NO!
Misuka: The f---? -_-; You're supposed to be dead. You're bob marley.
Soshika: Jacob marley.
Misuka: Same difference, they're both dead!!!
Soshika opens the blanket to reveal that she's wearing a tee-shirt with a picture of Bob that reads "Him no dead."
Misuka: Hoi -_-;
Darkfool: Oi there moi little ghostly mate!
Soshika: Hi darkfool! ^_^
Okay...fine...you can stay, soshika, if you stay QUIET.
Soshika: No problemo. ^_^
Soshika quickly hides the air horn she was carrying and goes back to napping. The giant darkfool scoops up Misuka's bed in one paw and looks at her.
Darkfool: Oi'm supposed to show you the good things that 'appen on this Oliday. ^_^
Misuka: Like what? X-mas sucks.
Darkfool: No it doesn't! Come on!
Darkfool lifts the roof off misuka's house, to which the ranec flails, ranting, protesting too. He puts it back though and walks down the street with her bed in his paw.
Darkfool: Oi, ere we are!
Pointing with a giant furry claw, Darkfool indicates to a third story apartment window. Misuka leaps from her bed and flies over, peeking in. Inside are kyo and jet, having a x-mas party.
Darkfool: See? X-mas doesn't suck for them. ^_^
Misuka: They're both drunk off their asses. -_-;
Darkfool: Who said that's not fun, matey? ^_^
Misuka: Eh..you're right ^_^;
Darkfool: C'mon, Oi'll show you more.
Darkfool heads down the street some more before stopping afore a tiny little run-down petshop. Putting Misuka's bed down on the ground, he motions with his nose towards it.
Darkfool: Take a look, mate.
Misuka: Whatever.
Misuka strides over in the snow and looks in the window. It looks quite warm, if not...uh...messy. There's a strange looking plant labeled "Audrey 2," a bottle of elderberry wine labeled "DO NOT DRINK," a dead parrot glued to a pole, a skee-ball and various other strange things scattered about. Watching a bit longer, Misuka sees Rabin march in, a little bag in his arms.
Rabindranath: Hey dudes, I'm home!
Running into the room come several..uh..Guardians. Midreak is dressed in a frilly apron carrying a spatula, Drakia and Geddithe come running in in scrappy little rags.
Drakia: Daddy, daddy! ...god i feel weird saying that.
Geddithe: POPS!
Midreak: -_-+++++ ...Rabin...my...wife...
Rabin: Hiya kids, hey there wife. ^_^
Rabin drops the bag on the ground and out rolls an anorexic model, a tiny bottle of vodka and a plastic fish.
Misuka: Dear god...
Darkfool: Oi, that's all they can affourd tew eat or drink on your wages, Misuka.
Misuka: Fuck, I could survive a month on what I pay them bums.
Darkfool: But wait...
Misuka: You're not going to sell me a chia pet, are you?
Ambling slowly into the room on crutches, is Hoplita, who looks even more pitiful than usual. Slinking over to Rabin, he sniffles a bit.
Hoplita: Rabin...I'm...i'm...so glad you're home...
Rabin: Eh, no problem kid. C'mon let's all set up for dinner ^_^ Prepare the food, wife!!
Midreak: -_-++++++++++++Yes.....DEAR....
Out in the snow, Darkfool begins to explain quietly, a giant tear rolling down his furry muzzle.
Darkfool: Poor 'Oplita's very sick, Misuka...He can hardly wolk...
Misuka: Hoplita ...doesn't have hind legs.
Darkfool: And if you'd give them more to eat and drink, he could have recovered...
Misuka: Hoplita's NEVER had hind legs!
Darkfool: And he's not long for this world, at the rate he's going...
Misuka: GOOD! We're down one whiny Guardian then..and...eh?
Misuka whirls around to discover that Darkfool's vanished, and all that's left is her bed in the middle of the street, with Soshika asleep on it. A cold wind blows across the street.
Misuka: The f---..He could have at least put me back in my room.
With an omnious and all to cliche DONG of a bell, Misuka spins around to see a hooded figure standing before her, clutching a scythe. She looks up at it curiously, thinking there's something familiar here...
Misuka: You're the ghost of x-mas future, aren't you?
The cloaked figure nods silently, but apparently cats have radar for the god of death, because Soshika wakes up and tackles him. GODDAMNIT I TOLD YOU TO KEEP QUIET!
Soshika: Shinigamiiiii!! ^_^
Grey: GAAAH!!!
Misuka: That's why he seemd familiar...
Grey topples over in the street, a cat clinging to him. Without anyone to rescue him, he's stuck. Demon boy's blushing agaiiiiin
Grey: I ...am...not...
Don't make me show them that piccy of you and Arborwin's character, Midnight.
Grey: Shut up.
Soshika: Grey...^_^
Soshi's cuddling Grey, and Misuka just stands there sweatdropping as the kitty and demon make "kitty-tackled-the-demon-and-fell-into-a-snowbank-angels" in the snow. hmm sounds kinky.
Grey: -_- I can never complete a scene uninterupted...
Misuka: Yeah well..I hate to interupt further, But i'm gettin f---in bored out here. Mind just summin it up?
Grey: Yeah yeah fine...
Grey shoves Soshika off him, only to discover she's attatched herself to his leg. Ignoring her, which is a hard thing to do when you're dressed up as the god of death with cat on your leg, he explains.
Grey: Be sorry, or be dead without anyone who cares.
Misuka: That's rather lame.
Grey: The truth would reduce you to a blubbering baby.
Misuka: ...you've been playing Alice too, haven't you?
Grey: All demons identify with Wonderland.
Misuka: Riiiiight...So what would REALLY happen?
Grey whispers something in the Ranec's ear and she suddenly goes white and falls over screaming.
Misuka: NOOO!! ILL BE GOOD! NOT AN ETERNITY OF TEENYBOPPERS AND RELIGION AND MICROSOFT!! AND MY LIKING IT!! AUUUUUGH NONONONONONONONOOOOO AND I DO NOT LOVE DAYRINNIIIIIII!!!
Falling backwards into a blue portal, misuka swirls by thousands of things. Alice's vorpal blade, a stuffed facehugger, a diet coke, a can of cheese wiz..the paladin drifts by...
Paladin: Now this is just rediculous...
Misuka: And you thought you were safe from chat-fics just because you're not in the book.
MORE THINGS FLY BY!! plastic fish, stuffed cabbits, tee-shirts that have flying monkeys on them...piles of rabbit fur, dust bunnies, birds and mice and harry potter books and suddenly...misuka comes to a halt in her bed!
Misuka: Now that was a very cool dream. Can't wait to tell the Others.
Soshika: You idiot, we're all ghosts!
Misuka: ...you mean it wasn't a dream?
Soshika's still sitting on the foot of misuka's bed, which is back in her bedroom. Throwing on her kimono and jumping up, the Ranec races to the window and throws it open, staring out. There's a young chuian shoveling snow, and misuka points at her.
Misuka: YOU THERE! Can you tell me what day it is?
Raizy: ...Did your copy of MI not get there yet? Sorry..raiii...
Misuka: No, damnit, i mean what day of the month!!
Raizy: Chu? Oh. It's x-mas day!
Misuka: What's with the x-mas s--- anyway?
Well...this is based on a story that's against religions that're all consuming..and the Others are all pagans...not christians..so calling it christmas is kinda stupid..plus X is cool...anyway...GET BACK TO THE STORY!
Raizy: Yeah, it's X-mas DAY! Chu!
Misuka: There's still time!
Soshika: To do what?
Misuka: LAST MINUTE SHOPPING! Come, cat! Come, chu!!
Misuka grabs the ghost and chuian and drags them to the mall for last minute shopping! She races arond and buys presents really quick, almost running over Jet and Kyo on her way...
Jet: Aw man, mah head...
Kyotoshi: Dude that was an awesome party...
Misuka: You two! Meet us at Rabindranath's house in two hours! I'll have your x-mas present then! I PROMISE!
Kyotoshi: Uh...okay..
Jet: DUDE! this rules! I'm gonna get condoms, i know it!
Misuka runs past them and gets the gifts. A stuffed chu for the chuian, a soft blanket for soshi's ghost, a epyon model for the paladin, a bottle of vodka each for rabin and kyo, a box of condoms for jet...
Misuka: Only if i can put jack in the pulpit in his drink and make him burn.
Uh. OKAY! after all..what's x-mas without a little posioning? she goes on getting gifts before running down the street to Rabins house and bursting down the door.
Misuka: MERRY FUCKIN X-MAS EVERYONE!!
Soshika: WAII!
Rabin: Hey there!
Midreak: Get me out of this dress.
Raizy: Raii! 0^_^0
Kyotoshi: Dude!
Jet: PRETTY GIRLS!!
Misuka: RARR!!
Misuka clobbers jet into the ground and starts passing out gifts. Hoplita gets a fuzzy sweater which he puts on and imidiately starts crying.
Hoplita: And the Author bless us, everyone!
Misuka: FUCK the author man...
HEY!
Misuka: Just kidding ^-^
Misuka hands the author some more RAM to write chat-fics on. WOW! ^_^ cool! Everyone has a huge x-mas party and it ends, charlie brown style, with rabin doing hte snoopy dance by the piano while Misuka plays and everyone else sings. happii holidays, everyone!
All: AND A HAPPY NEW MILLENIUM!
^_^
The End
2000
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