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Music writhed even as the thick double doors creaked apart to admit the three newcomers. Raging inside, the bodies of at least over a hundred individuals were crammed into a small room, twisting and moving in time to the music like charmed snakes. Kyotoshi counted at least three alien species besides his own, and even Humans. Multicoloured lights flashed overhead as the voice on the music screamed in between bouts of lyrics, speaking English.
I, I, I won't try
And every time I tell that lie
I live without guilt
Tonight, Oh I
Won't cry...
The nameless cream coloured male next to Kyotoshi was already dancing to the music by the time they entered, tail and shiney black clothed body twisting seperately, yet somehow united. He said something, but it was lost over the music. Kyotoshi turned to see if Kammi had caught it, but she was already gone, caught up in the crawling twisting mass that moved like a bizzare ameoba. Kyotoshi didn't feel exactly nervous. He'd been to parties like this before, and he knew what to avoid in order to keep his promises. The room seemed to rotate around him and before he could regain his bearings, he was in the center of the moving bodies, jumping and shouting with the rest of them while the light flashed, leaving residual glares on his eyes. The music seemed to grow louder, throbbing in his ears during the calmer points before it would suddenly screech upwards into a screaming chorus with distorted guitar sounds rampaging in the background. Kyotoshi shut his eyes, laughing, and reached his hands upwards.
Something caught his paw, another hand, and Kyo found himself twisted around to face the cream coloured male. Brown eyes flashed into his as the other Hekshanian gave a preditory grin again, refusing to relinquish his grip on Kyotoshi's hand. He didn't care. The music seemed to fill him up, music was all the drug Kyo needed. He danced with the cream coloured Hekshanian, rolling back to back to switch places, hair flashing in his eyes as he jumped with the crowd, part of it's mass now, a cell in the organism. The music rang onwards in his ears, he was barely concious of the lyrics now.
A plan
To save
Herself
the Cinnimon spider...
The singer of the music broke into raspy screams for a moment and Kyotoshi threw back his head and felt the music scream for him, something he could never let himself do. It felt good, it felt real, it felt solid. Opening his eyes again, the cream male was gone, his hand free again. Looking around, Kyo spotted a flash of the unmistakable milky white a few feet away through the moving bodies. The music switched, another track by the same archaic band, slower and somewhat calmer. Across the room, the dark eyes of the cream male flashed at Kyotoshi, two claws lifting up above the heads of others and beckoning him to follow. Looking around for a moment, although unsure of what for, Kyotoshi elbowed his way through the crowd, which had also calmed in response to the music. The white fabric of his teeshirt brushed against the fur on his chest as he pushed throught he tightly packed room, working his way up to the other male.
drown yourself in alcohol
everbody spits and falls
choke on every dream you ever had...
Face to face with the cream male, the preditory grin was gone from his face. It was replaced with something Kyotoshi couldn't define. The music slowed, crawled to a stop again. Something more sinister started. Kyotoshi opened his mouth to say something, but the cream coloured male moved in a blur, white furred finger seeming to blur in the dark flashing room, into Kyotoshi's mouth and pressing solidly against his tongue. Kyotoshi recoiled and spat, rubbing his wrist against his lips as the other male stood back, his grin broader than ever this time. Kyotoshi felt something alien on the tip of his tongue, something clingy. He spat into his paw, but it wouldn't loose it's hold. He scraped a claw across his tongue, and stared down at what it had retrieved...just a little square of torn paper, the strobe lights of the room flashing on it as it shined from his saliva. Kyotoshi blinked several times, and looked up at the male in confusion and shock. He wouldn't...He couldn't...
The cream coloured male was laughing at him now, laughing before he turned and vanished into the crowd, a trail of yellow following him like a computer distortion. Something in the front of Kyotoshi's mind seemed to lay down and go to sleep.
Something inside him knew what the drug was...a varient on something the Humans had created a long time ago. It was faster too...the room blurred, hands waving above the crowd now forming the quasi-transparent outline of the ameboa he'd imagined. What would have taken twenty minutes before was happening right away now...Sounds felt like they were both underwater and much more clear all at once. The room seemed to twist and Kyotoshi laughed as his equilibrium faultered. Someone caught him and pushed him back into the crowd, the music kicking up again. Spinning into a whirlwind of blurring colours, Kyotoshi felt like he was sinking into something, falling down a tunnel. The ceiling became a darkened sky, flashing with lighting at an apocolyptic rate. People all around him, writhing as the sky closed in, broke up. The ground below them was made of glass, a hundred colours melded together into one soft solid slick floor. Kyotoshi felt himself sliding across that floor, slipping as the room twirled on its side andhe went flashing past all of them.
One of the chairs on the far end of the room, salvaged from a long time ago, slipped onto it's back. The center, where the springs should have been was a red flashing swirling tunnel...a tunnel of fire, only it didn't burn when Kyotoshi knelt to touch it. The fire from the tunnel curled around his hand, and he held it up to his lips. A convulsing snake of colour, it dove down inside him, and he could feel it, like wave of soundless oblivion. The music seemed to be the world now, another band's work by the same singers. Kyotoshi reached out both hands into the spinning red, and it climbed into his fingers and sat in shapes geometrical and solid like a well trained pet. Climbing to his feet, Kyotoshi felt as if he wasn't standing at all. He knew somewhere inside that there was someplace he should go, and something he should say to someone...
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again
Again...
The sky changed, stopped with lighting as Kyotoshi walked. The music faded into itself. It was silent. The world was silent all around, twisting trees of stone climbing into the sky. Kyotoshi put the fire into his pocket of his jeans where it fell and settled like an inatimate object, but it still swirled within him. Falling again, this time to his knees, Kyotoshi landed with his paws against the ground, which felt like the scraping of a metal comb on the undersides of his arms. He tried to stand again, to keep walking...The music still hummed in the back of his head...coaxing him down, a weight on his body that no struggling could lift. Kyotoshi lay his shoulder against the ground, curled his back against the trunk of the cold stone tree...the world flashed its colours once more and there was a shattering sound...and it was gone.
The obnoxious screeching and beeping clawed its way inside Kyo's head, smashing against the walls of his skull like a mental patient frantic with excitement. He wanted it to go away, to shut up, but it wouldn't. It sounded like a phone...but...the last thing he could remember was...Damn, it had to have been a dream. No way what he was remembering could have been real. The screeching continued, and Kyotoshi was forced to abandon his thoughts and sit up to stop it. A had went instantly to his forehead, and he winced in pain. It felt like his skull had been split open, and there was a strange taste in his mouth. Weird dream...weird, weird dream...but cool, he'd actually had fun with it. Looking around, he winced again as he realized the light was excessively painful. His cheek stang, too, like he'd maybe been sleeping on something sharp or rough. He was still in his room, still on his bed...Had he fallen asleep waiting for the clock to wind its way around? It was almost halfway through the day, now, he could tell when he squinted at the clock on the far wall.
The screeching of the phone made him wince and grab his head again, his free hand fumbling along the nightstand and finally closing on the plastic receiver. His voice was blurred when he answered- he wasn't even awake yet..."Yeah?"
"Hey, bitch. How you feelin?" It was Kammi's voice on the other end, bouncy and frantic. That was practicly natural for her, though. It didn't mean anything.
"Not so hot, feel like shit actually," Kyotoshi rubbed a hand blearily over his face and tasted his tongue. His fur felt dirty too, he'd need to shower. "Look, sorry I didn't make it, musta fallen asleep or somethin, had this totally tripped out dream-"
"The hell are you talking about, dumbass? You made it." Kammi started laughin, and Kyotoshi had to hold the reciever away from his ear to keep the sound from making him nauseous.
"Wha?" He made sure the half-word was loud enough to be heard from the distance at which he held the phone. Kammi stopped laughing to answer and Kyotoshi gingerly moved the phone back to his ear, glance about the room. It reeled a little if he turned his head to fast. Maybe he was getting sick. Or maybe...
"Said you were there! Totally wasted too, I didn't think you had it in you, you skinny little bitch!" Kammi's laughter peirced through his head again,this time Kyo wasn't fast enough to move the phone. But it was starting to come together to him, one big picture that he wasn't liking...one that was making him feel sick to the stomach...
He moved forward on the bed, curling into himself slightly and running his free hand through his hair repeatidly. "I don't believe you." He shook his head, even though she couldn't see him, and shut his eyes tightly. He was rocking back and forth slightly now, his breathing coming rapidly. His stomach was churning, threatening him more with every word she said.
"Hell yes, man," Kammi was snickering. "Started ranting shit to everyone about fire and rabbitholes. Things outta that book you're always reading, what's it called?"
Kyotoshi had a hand over his eyes and shifted his weight, something in his pocket digging into his side. He answered automaticly, fishing through his pockets for whatever it was. "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland." His hand closed around something cool and he pulled it out, staring at his hand in shock. Kammi's voice ranted on.
"Yeah, that book. Man, you were one smashed bitch. Reciting rhymes and craika like that," Kammi paused to think, but Kyotoshi's end was silent. "Weren't really talkin to us, though. What'd you take, anyway? You were totally trippin' out."
In his hand, nestled like a trained and sleeping animal, was an empty beer can. Kyotoshi shook his head and shut his eyes, hoping it would go away when he opened them. It didn't. Nothing, really, it didn't mean anything to most people...Just one stupid night, one stupid mistake...but for Kyotoshi, it was a defication of anything he might have believed in. The promises he'd made...He'd intended to keep them. He'd intended to never drink, never do any drugs...It was the only way he could take care of her, his Lyika...and now...
A footstep in the hallway made Kyotoshi look up, phone still against his ear. Kammi was talking, but he didn't hear her. Creak, creak, creak... The floorboards made sounds as whoever it was walked closer. Kyotoshi felt his stomach slam against his sides and then contort in on itself when she stepped into view, and paused. Their gazes locked, and he saw she was wearing the jacket he'd given her. What her eyes told him said it all...she was leaving now. The katana he'd given her was strapped across her back, its blade glimmering as the light from the window in his room struck it at an angle. She saw what was in his hand and turned, walking away. Kyotoshi opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out, and she was already gone.
"Hey, HEY! You fucking bitch, are you still there? The fuck are you doing, jacking off?" Kammi's voice snapped in his ear, shrill and loud. Kyotoshi winced and held the phone away, muttering that he would call her back before hanging up on the still speaking female. Throwing the can onto the bed, he leapt up and ran into the hallway, hoping to catch a last glance of his sister. Skidding on the hall carpet, he slammed stomach-first intot he banaster, his momentem forcing him to catch himself or fall. The sudden movement made him feel like he was going to throw up, and his head was still reeling. He knew why, now, it was a hangover. But it didn't matter. He had to say goodbye- he knew she wasn't going to come back, but he had to-
All he saw was the door closing, the hinges creaking with age. Panting, he leaned over the banister, a whine growing in the back of his throat...Any tears that were coming he forced back inside, beat down. He deserved this...it had been his fault...
Taking the stairs up at a quick pace, he found himself resolving in his mind to get over this. There was no use brooding over it, he'd failed to keep his end of the deal they'd had. The times spent reading "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" under the covers late at night together were over, and she was gone now. His Lyika, his sister...his Soshika. Claws clacked on tile as he entered the bathroom, hands closing around the rim of the sink. Looking down at the drain, he wondered if he'd just suddenly throw up. It certainly felt like he would. His heart was hurting, hurting like someone was crushing it in their fist...the feeling wasn't in his head, it was real and physical. His stomach was twisted like an animal ridgid with rigor mortis. What have I done, what have I done... He refused to let it cross his mind that it wasn't his fault at all. I shouldn't have gone, I shouldn't have followed him, I shouldn't have trusted him when I didn't even know him...
Looking up slowly, Kyotoshi stared at his reflection in the smeared glass of the mirror. His fur was matted, his hair was scattered and dirty. A blurry memory of being shaken awake by people surfaced in his mind...they'd found him in an alley. An alley? Kyotoshi groaned and covered his face, turning on the water with his free hand. Cold and clear, the sound of it filled his ears, flushing out the sound of the door slamming and Kammi's talking. Ducking under the faucet, the water washed through his hair and trickled down his face in tiny rivers. Kyotoshi scrubbed with his paws, drinking some of the water too before spitting it out. Looking up again, he shut off the tap and shook his head vigorously a moment. His blue eyes reflected back at him, framed now on his soaked face. One of the songs from the party the night before played quietly in his head, the lyrics burning with intensity.
No tender scar
No twist of fate
Will save you now.
He shut his eyes and turned away, heading back to his room. The sunlight had caught on the metal of the empty can, reflecting across the room like a prism. Kyotoshi sat on the bed, water dripping from the tips of his hair and beading on the bedspread before sinking in and forming darkened spots. His hand closed on the can and he picked it up, looking it over, reading what each label and logo said. Sighing, he stood and put the can into his pocket again, pulling open the nightstand drawer with one hand, fumbling around inside for something. A knife, papers, wallet...his hand closed around a wad of loose bills and he pulled them out and put them in his opposite pocket without bothering to look at them or count them.
No use keeping promises now...
And there was one source of peace left, even if it was a posion at the same time...
Kyotoshi's footsteps creaked down the steps and across the kitchen floor without stopping or even slowing when the social worker called his name angrily. She probobly wanted to yell at him and probobly hit him over what he'd done. She had to have known...if Lyika had known, she would too. He didn't listen, though, and stepped through the door, shutting it behind him. Outside, the light burned his sensitive eyes and he sheilded them against the sun. Sounds of the people living on their block filled his ears, animals barking and children chattering. Kyotoshi looked at the sky, the sun glinting off a ship rocketing through the sky. He imagined she was on it, imagined that was her leaving now. A smile crept onto his face, a sad smile. He would miss her. Trotting down the front steps, he set off at a carefree pace down the street to the corner store. Shaking his head, he whispered under his breath.
"Good luck, Lyika." And I'm sorry I let you down. But I can't stop smiling just for that...
