for mild language, silly violence and general immaturity.
Warriors Ten in Wonderland
WARNING! This is a chat-fic which means it gets randomly silly at points, and is written in a chat-room esque way. You been warned!
Our story opens with a big castle. cause it's not the story, it's the opening credits.
Castle: Dadaaaaaa!!
A rainbow starts to go over the castle, being all disney and junk. Suddenly, a blast of red energy blows the castle to little flaming bits.
Grey: Much better.
Soshika: HIT IT!
The castle backdrop falls away to reveal all five of the Warriors playing instruments, jamming away at their theme song.
Soshika: Welcome to the future, three big Zeros Y2K!!
Opening credits roll.
Grey- reluctantly cast as Alice
Darkfool- the catipiller
Kyotoshi- the mad catter
Rabindranath- the march dragon
Jester- the chesire cat
Soshika- the white rabbit
Midreak- the queen of hearts
Solla- tweedle dumb
Misuka- tweedle dee
The music fades out, credits scroll away and a large open medow is shown. Grey is sitting in the middle of all these flowers and stuff, looking very, VERY out of place. Despite all efforts by the producers to get him into a blue and white dress, he's still dressed in black. He glares ahead of him where a tiny dragon frolics.
Drakia: ...meow?
Grey: I can't believe you let them cast you as Dina the cat...
Drakia: shhh no one has to know. ^_^
Grey: ...
Suddenly, a yellow cat-creature in a tux runs past Grey, nearly knocking him over, except he could hear her mental Voice a mile away and scooted back a few feet. The feline pauses and hops up and down.
Soshika: craika!
The cat pulls a large sundial from the cargo pocket (shut up. this tux does have cargo pants) on her leg and looks at it. A look of fear comes over her face.
Soshika: I'm late!! Midreak's going to kill me!!
Grey: ...leave me alone.
Soshika: You're no fun. You know, I'd really like to stay and talk but I have to get to training.
Grey: Please don't speak with me.
Soshika: I'll talk with you when I get back. ...ACK! LATE!
Spotting her sundail again, the cat jumps about ten feet in the air. She doesn't seem to realize Grey hates getting close to people because he believes he's a demon.
Grey: I AM a demon.
Shut up, I'm the narrorator. I'll tell it like I want. Climbing to his feet, Grey decides to follow the spastic cat-creature.
Grey: You've got to be joking...
Drakia: Don't argue with the narrorator, Grey. Just follow her.
Grey: ...it could be worse.
Grey runs after the cat critter through the woods, and as she ducks under thorns and logs etc, he just smashes straight through them because he can't feel pain. Suddenly, the cat jumps down a hole in the ground and vanishes. Grey peers over the edge into the darkness.
Grey:...
Grey's animal instincts take over! The snake DNA in him reacts, and he absolutely HAS to chase his prey down into that darkness.
Grey: Actually, I just want to get away from all this cheeryness.
Drakia: Wait, Grey! Don't go down there- you'll loose your humanity!
Grey: Sounds good.
Grey leaps into the hole, tumbling down into the darkness without the slightest little tinge of fear on his face. After all, if he hits the ground, he can't feel it! The world spins around him, darkness ebbing and flowing and strange things drift by...ships, large cats, crystals and pendants and even a katana. Grey's world is being transformed. With a soft tap, he alights gently on the floor below and finds himself...
Grey: In a hole.
NO! In a hole in WONDERLAND!
Grey: Regarless, it's still a hole.
Damnit Grey, you ruin everything. Anyway, Grey notices a small door that almost completely blends into the far wall and opens it to step into a very strange, dark tunnel. Standing before him is the tuxed cat, still tsking over her sundail.
Grey: Sundails don't work underground.
Soshika: Oh! I wondered why it wasn't...oh!
Soshika notices it's actually Grey speaking to her.
Soshika: You followed me! I'm so glad you did!
Grey: I...
Soshika: Thank you!
Grey: ...
In the dark, Grey suddenly feels very strange. Yes, demon boy is BLUSHING!
Grey: I AM NOT!
Oh yes you are. hehehe. Trying to deny his feelings, he begins to follow the cat creature through winding tunnels. Soshika explains that she's late for a training session with the King of DarkHearts. Grey has no idea what this means, and doesn't like to think there's more mystical beings around. He's mad at Drakia for telling him not to go down the tunnel, so he's denying her existance.
Grey: You're lamely paralelling me to the actual story...
Sorry, I'll stop. Anyway they enter into a forest where strange, corrupted toadstools grow from the ground and are far far too big. The colours of them are all acidy and psychadelic, but since Grey sees things in heat spectrum he can't tell that. It looks like wonderland's gone bad. COOL!
Grey: Where is this?
As he turns around to ask Soshika, he discovers she's gone. Not really caring, because he can deal with being alone, he begins to wander towards some heat sorces he sees far off. He can also hear these sources arguing intenesly.
Grey: ...
YES! As he enters the clearing where the sources are, he sees...Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb!
Misuka: Why do I have to work with this bitchy lizard girl?
Solla: YOU COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT, RANEC!!
As usual, Solla and Misuka are duking it out. Grey doesn't really seem to notice much and takes a seat on a nearby log to watch. The two eventually break apart and Misuka grows captivated with Grey's evilness. Solla sulks a little whiles away, because she thinks he's a demon.
Solla: He IS a demon.
Grey: I AM a demon.
SHADDAP! both of you! Grey, being totally unaware of where he really might be, asks them. Go ahead, Grey, ask!
Grey: Where the hell am I?
Misuka: Why...You're in Wonderland of course. It can be quite...Wonderful. If you know who to be with.
Solla: hmph.
Misuka is putting an arm suavly around Grey, who doesn't react. Damnit Grey, you're not usually so stoic.
Grey: I don't feel like caring.
CARE, Damnit! And Misuka, you aren't supposed to tell him that! You're supposed to recite a rhyme with Solla!
Misuka: Ain't no way I'm doin NOTHIN with that winged gecko.
Solla: Nor shall I have anything to do with that unethical rabbit.
Misuka: Bunnys rule, shut the fuck up.
Look, I don't care. I'm the narrorator and I SAY YOU RECITE A RHYME. Now, RECITE! Misuka starts to sulk, but steps away from Grey and stands in the center of the clearing. Fireflies dance about her hands as she spreads her wings dramaticly wide and lowers her eyelids slightly. She looks as if she is ready to take control of anyone within fourty feet simply by these words.
Misuka: What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
and then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load
Or does it just explode?
When she is finished, Grey sits transfixed. Uh..Misuka...That wasn't the poem you were supposed to recite..and it was supposed to be WITH Solla...
Grey: I thought it was a nice poem. Langston Hughes, right?
Misuka: ...No comment.
Solla: I too can recite poetry you know!!
Solla shoves Misuka aside, who promptly tries to pull a gun on the Animarian..but um..I step in and take it! Sit down, Misuka. And you Grey! I see you getting up!
Grey: Damn.
Misuka: WHYYYYY! I hate her!
Well, you got a chance to recite a poem. It's only fair to give Solla a turn. Solla begins to recite, her voice adopting a british accent.
Solla: I sat below me by a tree
Humble fat and small
A little lady sang to me, I couldn't see at'all
Speak up, Come forth!
You rabble me!
I prithee and I shout.
I know you're hiding by this tree!
But still she won't come out.
The softly singing lulled me a'sleep about an hour or so
I woke me slow and took a peek
But still no lady show.
And then upon a little twig
I thought I saw a sight.
A tiny, little, tiny pig!
Singing with all its might!
I thought you were a lady, I giggled
And well I may
For then the lady up and flew a-way
The End.
Solla looks around for applause, but everyone just sweatdrops instead. That was too weird.
Solla: It was John Lenon!
Grey: -_-;
Misuka: -_-;
ANYWAY... Grey decides that these two aren't helping much and tries to leave. But Misuka won't let him! She's decided she wants to lay claim to the demon! She clings to his leg!
Misuka: GREY!
Grey: Damnit, get off.
Apparently the Ranec is attracted to stoicism. Regretting being so unemotional today, are we Grey? Heh heh heh.
Grey: I don't care.
Damn you, you're no fun. Anyway, Grey thinks he spots a bit of a moving tux further in the woods and tries to hide the fact that he's blushing as he denies the want to follow Soshika.
Grey: I am NOT blushing! And I don't care!!
Hmmm hit a nerve, did I?
Grey: Grrr...Forget it. I'm out of here.
Grey attempts to walk after the yellow cat, but Misuka is still clinging to his leg. Not that he notices, in fact. He just drags her along. Eventually the Ranec gets up and follows on foot as they tromp through the forest, patting her gun protectively.
Misuka: Actually I'm just waiting to get a shot in at that cat...
Grey: Misuka...don't.
Well well well...Someone getting attatched, hmm? Before Grey can react to my taunting, a cottage appears! Two people are sitting at a looooooooooooooooong table covered in bottles and appear to be having a party. Because he doesn't care about being invited or not, Grey walks right through the gate, and Misuka follows.
Kyotoshi: Iiiiiiiiiiii loooooove you more, then I did the week befooooooore!
Rabin: I discovered alcohoooooool...
Kyotoshi and Rabin are having a "tea" party! They're also singing at the top of their lungs, waving bottles around. Grey doesn't seem to care, but Misuka looks ready to either sweatdrop or grab a bottle herself and join in.
Grey: ....That isn't tea, it's sake.
Kyotoshi: SHhhhhhhh! Don't ruin it, dude!
Rabin: Yeah, it worked on Tenchi Muyo!
Misuka: Well in that case!
Misuka grabs a bottle of "tea" and joins in. Grey is just left there sweatdropping. Suddenly, the yellow tuxed kitty leaps over the gate and lands on the table, holding her sundail up to the light.
Soshika: SHOOT! I'm still late!
Kyotoshi: Time don't hold still, Lyika...
Soshika: It doesn't?
Grey: ...
Grey's blushing again...
Grey: I AM NOT!
Anyway, Soshika proceeds to sniff the "tea" and hit her brother over the head with the sundail. Bet you were all wondering why I picked a sundail instead of a clock...
Rabin: We tried wall clocks in rehersal, though..
Yeah, but they never held up in this scene cause Kyo's head's too hard. Kyotoshi just laughs. Soshika scowls and storms off, and Grey is left blushing and denying it. He doesn't follow because at that exact moment, Misuka pinned his legs together in a "tea" induced hug. Grey just kind of stares at his feet, not knowing what to do.
Grey: um....
Kyotoshi: Here, try the jaws of life, dude.
Kyotoshi tosses Grey the Jaws of Life. Grey pries himself loose from Misuka, leaving the Ranec hugging a table leg for dear life. Grey hands the Jaws of Life back to Kyotoshi and looks after the cat who just left.
Grey: Who is she?
Kyotoshi: My sister..the Yellow Cat. N' I'm the Mad Catter.
Rabin: 'M the March Dragon!
Grey: I'm...Grey.
That sums up a lot right there. Grey asks where the Yellow Cat is going and finds out it's to the castle, which is far far inside Wonderland. Kyotoshi and Rabin agree to take him in the general direction, at least after they sober up. Grey opts to find the place himself and begins to leave, but neither the dragon, cat or Ranec stop following him. He decides he doesn't care and they all wander into the forest together.
Grey: NOW it's a circus..and I've got the clowns.
Kyotoshi: eh-heeeey! -^_^-
Rabin: heh -^_^-
Misuka: Greeeeeeeey I waaaaaaant youuuuuuuuu -^_^-
Grey: -_-;
Wandering deeply into the rotting psychadelic toadstool forest, Grey soon finds himself completely lost. However, suddenly, a voice from nowhere starts singing...
Jester: Uban cithidan tiawang tua bai..haiii! Ulawang chuku chiki pa pa heka neka no laowi oh, ho naaaaaaaaaaw ubaaaaaliiiiiiiiiaaaa
Fading into existance, a huge smile appears, followed by a furry winged kitty critter! It's the Chesire Grimalkin!
Kyotoshi: TRIPPY!
Grey: Who are you?
Jester: The Chesire Grimalkin, like the narrorator says.
Grey: Can you stop three drunk people from following me?
Jester: No, not really. Mostly everyone's drunk here.
Grey: Damn. Well, can you at least get rid of the lovesick one?
Misuka: heeeeeeeeeee Greeeeeeeey -^_^-
Jester: Naw, we're almost all lovesick here too. I know YOU'RE lovesick.
Jester grins evilly, a reaaaaaaally big evil grin. Grey blushes like there is no tomorrow. Hehe I love picking on my demon.
Grey: At least I'm not in a dress...
Hey, well..I tried...You really put up a good fight, ya know? But.. I suppose you did throw enough of a fit I'm going to let you stay in your usual black outfit.
Grey: Thank you.
Misuka: Man, you gotta let your thing for guys in drag go.
Shaddap, I do not. Watch this AHAHAHAHH!! Grey is suddenly in the Alice Outfit!! Don't he look all cute in the blue and whites and stuff? hehe!! Ya just wanna hug him!
Jester: -_-; oi...
Grey: DAMNIT NO!!!
Grey proceeds to rip the dress to shreds, and he's now standing nekid in the middle of a forest in wonderland. Kyotoshi and Rabin hit the ground laughing so hard, and Grey starts to blush even more as Misuka quickly begins to take poleroids.
Grey: STOP THAAAAAT!
It's awefully funny to listen to a demon squeak a plee. Grey tries to cover himself up, curls up on the ground and turns his face away from the camera, blushing so much we may as well change his name to Red. mehehahahhahaaaaa!!
Grey: This isn't fair...
Because I don't want to make my poor demon cry or anything, Grey's normal cloths are dropped on his head. Jester laughs wildly as the demon quickly changes into them, barely escapeing the vast majority of Misuka's poleroid flashes.
Misuka: DAMNIT! Oh well, I got plenty!
Grey: Leave me alone...
Now that he's been completely emberassed, Grey storms away from all the others into the woods, trying to purge the blushing from his cheeks. He's also mad at me, but not someone else I know! From ahead, the ting and om of zen stuff can be heard. Grey enters a clearing to see a large, furry, six legged white creature atop a rotting toadstool, his uppermost sets of arms clasped in a classic zen stance. Insence smoke curls around this creature.
Darkfool: Ommmmm
Grey: Why me?
With those words, The Catipiller opens one eye and spots the demon. Smiling slightly, he speaks.
Darkfool: Because it's an awerful lot of fun to pick on you, Darkeyes.
Grey: I'm getting a headache.
Grey sits down under the toadstool and hugs his knees, regretting ever jumping down the hole after the tuxed kitty. Out of nowhere, his entire caravan appears. Even Solla flaps in. Soshika appears, screeching to a halt but trips over an exposed root and finds herself in Grey's lap. Misuka starts to twitch involentaraly, and Grey blushes again. This time he's too stunned to deny it.
Soshika: Oops..sorry..
Grey: ...
Soshika's blushing too, but she has fur so you can't see it. Nehehehe. Darkfool smirks at them all, and spots the feline's sundail. Since he's the almighty wise catipiller, he knows exactly what's going on.
Darkfool: Oi think you wont to hit the castle, huh? Just so 'appens Oi know a shortcut.
Soshika: REALLY? Maybe I won't be THAT late..
Kyotoshi: Oh brother...-^_^;-
Despite the fact that she is in Grey's lap, Soshika looks up at Darkfool. The demon who was very recently naked is turning red again, but furiously trying to hide it. The Nikitak chuckles and nudges Grey with his toe. The cat asks where the shortcut is, to which the Nikitak replies...
Darkfool: Woi, second star to the right and straight on till morning!
NO!!! He replies that it's just under his toadstool, that brightly painted door everyone's leaning against. Well, everyone but Soshika's leaning against, since she's sitting in Grey's lap. Suddenly out of no where, sunscreen drops on Misuka.
Kyotoshi: Want us to Rub It In, Misuka?
The Ranec just falls to the floor twitching uncontrollably while everyone gets up and goes through the door under the toadstool. Now they're suddenly in a massive mansion's patio! It's the castle courtyard! Reclining in a big chair several feet away, a huge black dragon in a frilly red and white dress smokes irritably at the fact he's been forced to wear this. He waves his heart-shaped scepter at the newcomers and growls at Soshika.
Midreak: You're late! This is unexcusable!
Soshika: I am? Wow...
Soshika checks her sundail and finds out she's not JUST late, but two HOURS late. Everyone sweatdrops except Midreak who's too busy being angry about his outfit, and Grey, who's still not quite over blushing.
Midreak: AND WHO ARE THESE NEWCOMERS?
Soshika: Oh, well...
Soshika introduces everyone, to which Midreak merely Rarrs. A tiny, submissive rabbit-like dragon with no hind legs and a long tail slithers up and taps Midreak on the shoulder, trying to curb the dragon-in-drag.
Hoplita: Um, Midreak..we could um..Hold a pool-polo contest to see who gets punished...
Midreak: GRAND IDEA!!
Midreak commands everyone to play pool polo! The dragon leaps in and out of his frilly costume, Hoplita follows and an Alicorn who appeared out of no where even jumps in. INTO DA POOL!
Misuka: What the hell is this, Tommy Hilfinger?
Minions: BOO HISS!!
No man, Pool-polo's fun! You get to ride on pool toys and you're all like swingggggg SQUEAKY! So, INTO THE POOL!!! Everyone leaps into the pool!
Solla: HA! Go Geddithe, you will help me to win!
Geddithe: I ain't no pool toy, Solla!
Solla: You are today!
Misuka: HOPLITA! Get your butt over here!
Soshika: um..help...
Soshika forgot she can't swim very well, and while everyone else gets into a great game of polo, she's drowning. Grey dives down, the animal part of him enabling him to not only swim reaaaaaaaally well but to breathe underwater! PERMINANT AQUA BREATH! He drags Soshi out of the pool and gives her mouth to mouth to reivive her! Ain't that sweeeeeet?
Misuka: RRRRRRRRRRR!!!
The Ranec is twitching again, her hand tightening on the gun. Another blob of suntan lotion drops onto her head, and everyone replies happily.
All: Should we RUB IT IN, Misuka?
Misuka gets really mad and chases Soshika and Grey with her gun! Everyone goes crazy! Cards start flying everywhere! A volkswagen beetle jumps out of the pool and does the hula! I'm on the train! I'm on the train! I'm on the train!!! and.....suddenly...Jet wakes up!
Jet: whoa..trippy.
Yes that's right this was ALL JET'S DREAM! AHAHAH!! None of it actually happened, and Jet is now all alone in his apartment, looking ahead at the poster of naked sabrecat ladies. He blearily rubs his head and looks around.
Jet: Man, I ain't never doin THAT shit again...
And thus we have learned our lesson. Jet rolls over and goes back to sleep, and the story ends. dadaaaaaaaaaaa
(Author's Note: i know..so many things here were so mean..i couldn't help myself. Zarla got me started on making fics on my stories, and now look where this got us. Oh well, it was a good laugh! Sorry, Misuka. But Grey IS mine...)
1999
