anudder day of blogaust. still fatigued today but not as bad! i genuinely wish people believed when you talk about fatigue but it really is like until it happens to them, it isnt real. i can tell family about fatigue and theyll be like 'well i hope thats just because (insert excuse)' and its like what, for the past six years? that's a lot of excuses.
anyway, work tomorrow - i'm a little :T at my boss because me saying i have fatigue issues wooshes right over her head. she wants me to double down my final hour of work juggling inputting datapoints and getting a child down for a nap and handing off to another staff member when i am already kind of falling apart because of my fatigue. so usually i just do the datapoints on my own time, not getting paid. but this doesnt automatically attach them to the day's session, so... :T it doesnt actually matter if theyre in a few hours late or not, and there are hard copies to confirm the datapoints. but...yeah. one of those tiny things where its like hey no im trying to tell you i have a medical issue i'm handling by not pushing myself for no reason? can we accomodate that? i know AI is the real boss here, driving all the datapoints, but like can we pretend humanity is still the end game for a company that works on behavioral health for minors with unique needs??
nah, not under this presidency.
anyway. returned the rug doctor today, the bedroom now is clean if still a tiny bit damp. dehumidifier is just running in there with some fans.
managed to get thru the phone tree to try to get alph's adhd treatment journey started. when your adhd is so bad you cant actually make your own diagnostic appointment bc if they dont call you back and remind you, you dont remember you were trying to do it...
yeah iunno. i'm still very tired, like, not as bad as yesterday where i kept closing my eyes. but the fatigue is still pretty bad. i made it through drawing and texting this month's ask kyo answers, but it was all day to do.
blood pressure is back to being high. its thundered less in my ear since i picked up the mmj vape again but there are so many other health concerns with a vape that i dont really feel like its a good solution to this. my lungs feel it, sure, but also my teeth ache from em. and suicidal ideation increases. and they are expensive. and we are all canaries in the coal mine for long term damage stats. and my body launches white bloodcells at it, im literally allergic. and...etc etc.
but then i see they got like a rainbow sherbert flavor and i forget all that for the novel experience of a flavored drug
ren's been very whiny and fussy today. i wonder if she's feeling some barometric pressure changes and feeling achey. or if she just had some sort of kitty nightmare and wants to stay near me. she blessed me with a very long and devoted washing of my left eyebrow this morning in bed. it's never been so deftly combed, thank you ren.
null energy means null workouts... i really need to get back to walking but just have felt like a puddle of sludge. the heat and wildfire smoke probably dont help. as much as massachusetts likes to pretend the wildfire smoke isnt coming over here, just because it isnt blotting out the sun.
i kind of feel like thats an american problem rooted in the boomer generation. we dont want to admit anything is happening/needs work until its apocalyptic level impossible to ignore. i know i've spent /my/ entire adult life being told the things that we need to worry about aren't important and i'm foolish to care by my parents' generation. and then when the whole thing blows up they look at me like :((( FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT :((((
and i think this among other things is a large part of why my blood pressure is so high lately. ha ha ha. ugh
back to work tomorrow after over a week off, and with the most intense fatigue ive had since i began this job. maybe i'll luck out and it'll be gone by tomorrow! but more likely i'll just mask it and my boss will ignore me when i try to explain it. because hey i ~look young~ therefore i must be healthy :P
oh well. five months til i'm done with tamoxifen at least.
commentsblog via dreamwidth
anyway, work tomorrow - i'm a little :T at my boss because me saying i have fatigue issues wooshes right over her head. she wants me to double down my final hour of work juggling inputting datapoints and getting a child down for a nap and handing off to another staff member when i am already kind of falling apart because of my fatigue. so usually i just do the datapoints on my own time, not getting paid. but this doesnt automatically attach them to the day's session, so... :T it doesnt actually matter if theyre in a few hours late or not, and there are hard copies to confirm the datapoints. but...yeah. one of those tiny things where its like hey no im trying to tell you i have a medical issue i'm handling by not pushing myself for no reason? can we accomodate that? i know AI is the real boss here, driving all the datapoints, but like can we pretend humanity is still the end game for a company that works on behavioral health for minors with unique needs??
nah, not under this presidency.
anyway. returned the rug doctor today, the bedroom now is clean if still a tiny bit damp. dehumidifier is just running in there with some fans.
managed to get thru the phone tree to try to get alph's adhd treatment journey started. when your adhd is so bad you cant actually make your own diagnostic appointment bc if they dont call you back and remind you, you dont remember you were trying to do it...
yeah iunno. i'm still very tired, like, not as bad as yesterday where i kept closing my eyes. but the fatigue is still pretty bad. i made it through drawing and texting this month's ask kyo answers, but it was all day to do.
blood pressure is back to being high. its thundered less in my ear since i picked up the mmj vape again but there are so many other health concerns with a vape that i dont really feel like its a good solution to this. my lungs feel it, sure, but also my teeth ache from em. and suicidal ideation increases. and they are expensive. and we are all canaries in the coal mine for long term damage stats. and my body launches white bloodcells at it, im literally allergic. and...etc etc.
but then i see they got like a rainbow sherbert flavor and i forget all that for the novel experience of a flavored drug
ren's been very whiny and fussy today. i wonder if she's feeling some barometric pressure changes and feeling achey. or if she just had some sort of kitty nightmare and wants to stay near me. she blessed me with a very long and devoted washing of my left eyebrow this morning in bed. it's never been so deftly combed, thank you ren.
null energy means null workouts... i really need to get back to walking but just have felt like a puddle of sludge. the heat and wildfire smoke probably dont help. as much as massachusetts likes to pretend the wildfire smoke isnt coming over here, just because it isnt blotting out the sun.
i kind of feel like thats an american problem rooted in the boomer generation. we dont want to admit anything is happening/needs work until its apocalyptic level impossible to ignore. i know i've spent /my/ entire adult life being told the things that we need to worry about aren't important and i'm foolish to care by my parents' generation. and then when the whole thing blows up they look at me like :((( FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT :((((
and i think this among other things is a large part of why my blood pressure is so high lately. ha ha ha. ugh
back to work tomorrow after over a week off, and with the most intense fatigue ive had since i began this job. maybe i'll luck out and it'll be gone by tomorrow! but more likely i'll just mask it and my boss will ignore me when i try to explain it. because hey i ~look young~ therefore i must be healthy :P
oh well. five months til i'm done with tamoxifen at least.
